Fucked Up

Fuck. Fuck. I’m so fucking angry with myself. I lapsed, just once, and I’m really struggling with how much that has totally fucked everything up. My head, my life, my relationship, all the hard work I have done recently. All for one fucking opiate induced hour or so peace from what my head was throwing at me. Where the fuck did that come from?

I feel so much shame, regret, so much pain in my head and my heart.

I don’t know how to come back from this. I can’t do this anymore.

Never fucking again. Never.

I am literally living one second at a time.

I need help…