I stand alone in this barren landscape,
The black, acid waters lapping at my feet.
How tempting is to immerse my broken self,
In the acrid sea of forever darkness.
My soul desperate, for connection,
To be held by true understanding.
I yearn for that pure, deep empathy,
That comes from one that truly knows.
When I stand in this place of deep despair,
The horizon I see brings no comfort.
I know I am strong, but I feel weak,
As my body (almost) succumbs to this living death.
I dream of that far away love, understanding;
And that one day, just maybe, you will hear.

Change, Awareness, Gratitude

Since starting qigong, I am experiencing so much change within, and without. I am aware of it constantly.

Energy flows, aches, pains, awarenesses of parts of the body that I didn’t have an awareness of before! Other pains, which had been there for years, gone, dissolved, like they had never existed.

Change in my posture, in my weight, in how I breathe, in how I use my energy. Wanting to stand more rather than sit, wanting to move, to walk to run, to dance.

Change in appetite, in how much water I am drinking, in no longer drinking alcohol, change in what I want to put into my body, great eliminations.

Changes in how I relate to clients, to others, to loved ones, to strangers, in how I relate to myself.

Awareness of so much in the past, and how I related to it, how this has changed. Awareness of abuses, misuses, of numbing it all out, of addictions.

Awareness, and trust in the strong, deep cleansing process that is happening now.

Awareness, love and deep gratitude, to my teachers. To my openness to learn. For my life, my spirit, for what is me.