Fuck. Fuck. I’m so fucking angry with myself. I lapsed, just once, and I’m really struggling with how much that has totally fucked everything up. My head, my life, my relationship, all the hard work I have done recently. All for one fucking opiate induced hour or so peace from what my head was throwing at me. Where the fuck did that come from?
I feel so much shame, regret, so much pain in my head and my heart.
I don’t know how to come back from this. I can’t do this anymore.
Never fucking again. Never.
I am literally living one second at a time.
I need help…