The Healing Trees

Shadows of ancient wounds, emerging, revealing,
Releasing through my weary body.
Wave after wave, like a powerful dragon,
Ripping through my soul to escape his prison.

I surrender to it, letting go, retreating,
Becoming the pain which consumes me.
The fire inside, burning, relentless,
Tearing at my skin until it is prisoner no more

Then, I look up, and watch, remembering,
Words spoken from the heart.
I see the sentinels standing, strong, knowing,
Their energy, powerful, flowing, infinite.

As they sway, gentle, peaceful,
Connected to mother earth, to father sky.
Their secrets and teaching filling my soul,
The lesson of the pain, clearer to me now.

I remember to trust, this pain, this experience,
This teaching that I am receiving now.
Is just part of my journey, emerging energy,
Leading me into the light where I can dance.

Energy Emerging, Pain Fading

I noticed this morning when I was practicing qigong, an energy in the palms of my hands, and deep inside my body. I noticed how as I moved, the energy moved. I was acutely aware of it. I am just at the very beginning of this journey, and it feels so right. Why didn’t I do this years ago?!

It reminds me of the energy that I used to feel as a child when I used to heal people. I would feel a burning energy in my hands and place my hands on my mum’s head and neck and release her from headaches, and her ankle when she hurt it. I remember doing the same with my dad, my grandmother, and with a friend. But I stopped. In my teens and early adult life I was ridiculed for being able to heal, and instead of standing up for myself, I believed them. Welcome back energy!

I wonder if this is why I had a really bad tummy for most of today and a headache? I’ve been drinking so much water and no caffeine, alcohol, only good foods. Emotions are rising, and ebbing like tides, and I ride them out, like a surfer riding the waves.

I feel pulls and urges… to write poetry; draw; clear out loads of shit from my house that I have held on to for years; to dance (oh how I want to dance!!); to be with people and to be alone (mostly alone); to get involved in some kind of protest group or political movement… I could go on. And I know I must be gentle with myself. All of this can wait! I know so deeply that what I need more than any of this, is time, space and to be gentle with myself (except the dancing, that I am doing now!!) I need to heal and truly love myself for the very first time.