Missed Connection

Deep heart-felt connection,
I see it in your eyes;
I feel it in my heart.
Slipping easily into a soul-felt union.

Wanting to reach out to you,
To touch you,
To hold you.
Held back by the cold hand of circumstance.

Drawing back into steel boundaries,
Out of the light,
Away from my heart.
Keeping things as they ‘should be’.

You rocked into my world,
With your darkened skies;
And broken heart.
Jolting my heart with your electric lyrics.

And now, we go back to our lives,
Silent once again,
Only whispers of the heart.
Until the next time we meet.

Therapeutic Claustrophobia

In the last two weeks I have on occasion had a feeling when I have been working with clients and supervisees. It is an intense, overwhelming feeling deep within my body, filling every cell and spreading out to my extremities. It grips me, holding me with it’s vice-like grip, not letting me go. It’s a kind of tension, a feeling of “I’ve got to get out of here”. I feel sick and uncomfortable and really lose focus for a moment whilst I adjust to the feeling.

Not the kind of feeling I want when I am being there for someone.

Today I had the feeling in all three client sessions I did.

On Wednesday I had to leave a supervisee for a moment as I “desperately needed the loo”. I didn’t. I just had this overwhelming feeling of needing to get out of the room.

It’s like therapeutic claustrophobia.

I have tried: breathing into it; ignoring it; shifting about in my seat; drinking water; not drinking water.

Maybe I could try changing the energy of the session, perhaps talking to my client/ supervisee about what they are feeling in their body at that very moment? What is this feeling trying to tell me?

The only two things that seem to relieve it are, time, and going out of the room. I wonder if it is bladder related? I have never had this feeling before linked to the bladder, and don’t get it out of sessions.

I need to listen to it, I am sure it has a lot to teach me.